This is long overdue but I find myself enjoying a quiet evening with a peacfully sleeping Madison next to me. Meanwhile, I enjoy the warmth of these nice dry sheets on an unusually very wet Texas July night.
This has been on my mind since the night I watched the reflection of the celebration of our nations birth in those big bright blue eyes of my baby girl.
This year we decided to do something different for the 4th of July. Our good friends David and Katie had made the trip to Texas with their daughter, Lauren. We decided at the last minute go out and watch a true American past time at the Rangers ball park.
It was a very enjoyable evening as the Rangers took a clean first place in the American League over the still active Angels who were in the middle of their game. (and were losing at the time btw) They showed the standings as the lights went out of the energetic crowd and the players took the field with their families to enjoy some 4th of July fireworks.
Just like any fireworks show, the colors danced across the sky choreographed with patriotic music. However, it was when this particular song came on, that I realized my baby was growing up and with that emotions were starting to flare:
I see trees of green........ red roses too
I see em bloom..... for me and for you
And I think to myself.... what a wonderful world.
I see skies of blue..... clouds of white
Bright blessed days....dark sacred nights
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world.
The colors of a rainbow.....so pretty ..in the sky
Are also on the faces.....of people ..going by
I see friends shaking hands.....sayin.. how do you do
Theyre really sayin......i love you.
I hear babies cry...... I watch them grow
Theyll learn much more.....than Ill never know
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world
(instrumental break)
The colors of a rainbow.....so pretty ..in the sky
Are there on the faces.....of people ..going by
I see friends shaking hands.....sayin.. how do you do
Theyre really sayin...*spoken*(I ....love....you).
I hear babies cry...... I watch them grow
*spoken*(you know their gonna learn
A whole lot more than Ill never know)
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself .......what a wonderful world.
The words had barely even started to flow and Madison starts sobbing. Tears were running down her face and her little shoulders were bouncing up and down. She couldn't hardly speak when I asked her why she was crying.
Finally....her whole life flashed before my eyes and I saw a grown woman sitting next to me when she finally uttered:
"it's so beautiful"
It was at this time that I realized Madison actually had emotions. Not the "that's not fair, mommy" kind either. These are the kind of emotions you don't realize you possess until that first love breaks your heart, you lose your best friend or the moment becomes to overwhelming to do anything else but cry. That emotion that comes with a certain tone, pitch or rythym found in the music we turn to for answers and therapy.
I just pulled her into my lap, wrapped my arms around her and softly whispered in her ear...
"it IS beautiful, Madison"
Friday, July 31, 2009
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